Weekly Links 7/23/08

Frosting Shots - How to get one at your local cupcakery or bread emporium.

Un-Intelligent Design - A great article from slate arguing that blind salamanders contradict intelligent design.

NY Metrocard Bell-Curve - NY Times published statistics on how often people use their monthly passes. Nice graph.

Watchmen Animated Comic - The classic comic has been animated to promote the new film (Download via iTunes)

Overlooked Records of 2008 - Always a good list from Pitchfork. I enjoyed Black Mountain and the Erykah Badu.

"Security Theatre" - A great trail of articles about security measures that give the appearance of safety but accomplish almost nothing.

Natalie Portman Continues to Be Awesome

This music video for folk singer Devendra Banhart aims to be a send up of Bollywood style films, but seems a little hollow without a chorus of women singing in Hindi high-pitched enough to kill bats. It does, however, feature a perpetually cute Natalie Portman awkwardly dancing while strange shit happens in the background. My favorite parts are:

Natalie Portman dancing
Snake Seizure (2:08)
Lo Pan Cobra (3:24)
Cultural insensitivity

Inglorious Bastards Script

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am excited about supposed upcoming Tarantino movie Inglorious Bastards. There have been rumors floating around about this thing since before Tarantino even thought about writing it so I have been pretty dismissive, but it certainly seems like a reality.

The recent rumors about Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio jumping on board with this thing has gotten me excited because I enjoy both actors and if only one of them were attached I'd be happy. The leaked script seems VERY promising, even if it is only a first draft or fake, and has gotten people talking. Some highlights :

'WE JUST SEE A SUPER QUICK SHOT OF Goebbels FUCKING Francesca DOGGY STYLE'

"Every man under my command, owes me, one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me, one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred Nazi's or you will die trying."

Tarantino is a crazy coked up fuckball who loves movies, violence, and rambling conversation, which is why I enjoy his movies. I'm hoping that this one will be less of self-consciously campy epic like Kill Bill and more of a study in degenerate and violent characters, like Pulp Fiction and Death Proof. Hopefully he isn't full of shit and we will see this movie next year.

The Dark Knight

In honor of the Dark Knight opening today last Friday, I've posted some funny links and interesting facts about the mysterious caped crusader. Enjoy.

Michael Bay's rejected Batman Script - instant fucking classic.

Robin's Big Date This hilarious short stars Sam Rockwell as Batman and Justin Long as the boy wonder. "Cock-Block Junior"

Hollywood gets the last laugh - This is probably one of the best articles I've read about the film industry in general. The most gratifying part is when Nicholson calls Basinger a cock-sucker and she starts crying.

Batman: Gotham Knight - This DVD is a prequel/sequel tie-in similar to the animatrix. Six anaimated short films with six directors and stories taking place in the time between Batman Begins and the Dark Knight. wiki

The Daily Batman - Some funny pics here

Batman by Dostievsky - Crime and Punishment. Batman Style.

History of Batman Movies - Very detailed history of the batman movies

Update: forgot to actually publish this on Friday. I saw the movie on Saturday and it rocked.

The Watchmen Trailer is Awesome

If you haven't seen the above trailer for Watchmen yet, you are missing out. It officially premiered this morning with the first showings of Dark Knight, and I have to admit, I was pretty blown away. The graphic novel is a classic (it won a Hugo award and made it onto time magazine's top 100 20th century English novels), but Hollywood has a way of eating good stories like these, digesting them with marketing drones, and pinching little loafs of cinematic dogshit. Since the only thing floating around out there were a few campy stills, I was pretty sure that this story was done for. I was wrong. After reading this article and watching the trailer, I cam to the conclusion that this movie may be as totally awesome as the novel.

DJ Lyrebird

The Lyrebird is a flightless songbird from Australia that is known for its ability to perfectly mimic sounds. Any sounds. People filming or recording the bird have noted its ability to perfectly reproduce mechanical sounds such as horns, chainsaws, pumps, engines, and shitty techno music played at outdoor concerts. Unfortunately, no evidence of it playing back sounds of people fucking exists; believe me, I looked. The species has also been issued a cease and desist order on behalf of Metallica.

Poop Freeze

Definitely more popular than its cousin fetus-freeze, but I don't need to tote a spray bottle around to draw attention to my dog's hygiene. That is what my F.A.G. Shampoo is for, thank you very much.